


Love is a splendor thing - Part 2

by NYWCgirl



Category: White Collar
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Mental Institutions, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Serial Killers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-24
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-09-01 22:24:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8640463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NYWCgirl/pseuds/NYWCgirl
Summary: After Neal´s death, during their trip to Italy, Peter has a nervous breakdown. The story starts with Peter´s intake in the mental institution back home





	

**Author's Note:**

> This part of the story fills my `Nervous breakdown´ square on my h/c bingo card and is written for the WCBB 2016 as the second part of ‘Love is a many splendor thing’.

“Good morning Special Agent Burke, Misses Burke. Welcome at Creedmoor Hospital. My name is doctor Payne and I will be agent Burke´s primary caretaker here in the facility.” The doctor shakes El´s hand, but Peter doesn´t move.

“Peter, can you tell me why you are here?”

Peter is just watching the door. He is tense and El places her hand on his arm. The doctor can see it relaxes Peter a bit.

“Misses Burke, I read your husband´s file, but can you tell me what happened leading up to your husband´s catatonia?”

“That is a new development, it started this week, but the doctor was concerned and that is why we are here.” El explains.

“Why don´t you start at the beginning? You want some refreshments?”

El starts explaining the serial killer case that ended in Neal´s demise.

“We left for Italy since Peter wanted to show me where Neal jumped off the Rialto bridge. I thought it would give him closure since Neal´s body was never recovered.”

“But that didn´t have the desired effect?” the doctor guesses.

“No, Peter got more and more depressed. He didn´t want to leave the hotel room, didn´t eat, couldn´t sleep. Eventually I could convince him to show me where Neal jumped form the bridge, but once we arrived, Peter had a complete breakdown. So we cut the vacation short and came back home. There was a moment where I thought he was doing better when Peter announced he wanted to start working again. But I was called from the office that Peter had shut down completely once he sat in his office.”

“Do you know what could have triggered this?”

“You must know, he looks over the other desks and Neal´s desk was in his direct line of sight.”

 

* * *

_Several days later_

Peter glances around the room. It feels like he is sort of waking up. It smells of bleach. He sits silent, absorbed by his own thoughts, not really moving, absorbing the noises and smells. The building has a certain pleasantness, it is painted in bright collars and the furniture is comfortable.

He is in a hospital. It slowly comes back. He agreed to be committed. He realized at one point that he was hurting El. For some reason, they couldn´t help each other as a couple through this phase in Peter´s life. At work he had been treated like he was going to snap at any moment and even El seemed scared of him. Everybody was so convinced that Neal was death, but was he? He hadn´t seen a body, they had collected evidence that Neal had been kept in that room, but was he dead?

He has been here a week now and it has been a revelation, like waking up after a winter hibernation. Peter realizes this is due to the heavy medication he is on. But rationally, he knows this is good.

Peter is pulled from his thoughts when the door opens.

“Peter? It is dinner time.”

When Peter doesn´t respond, the orderly gently pulls him up and guides him to the dining room. Next to his plate is a plastic cup with pills. He stares at them, just like the food on his plate. He is not hungry, hasn´t been for weeks now.

“Peter? Do you need help?” a nurse picks up his spoon.

The last thing he needs is to be spoon fed. He reaches out to it and she hands it over. He scoops up the mac and cheese, but it taste just like all his other meals, bland.

“Good job, Peter, have a nice meal, and don´t forget you pills.”

Peter eats about half before he feels full. He picks up the pill cup and chucks them in his mouth like a shot, washing them down with water.

 

* *  *

 

Peter has settled in the routine of the hospital, breakfast, therapy, lunch, sports, therapy, a day activity, diner and the day ends with TV, a movie or another activity. He never initiates anything, but he doesn´t fight them either. The staff is professional and pleasant and El visits him on Sundays.

With the medication they have him on, Peter crawled out of his catatonic state and starts interacting more.

Peter is attending a morning group therapy when he hears commotion in the hall. The patients all glance through the large windows to catch what is happening in the hall way.

A patient is taken to one of the therapy rooms. Peter catches a glimpse of the man and is suddenly alert, it can´t be? He jumps up and makes his way into the hall but the other patient is already behind closed doors.

“Peter? Can you please join us?”

“Who was that?”

“You know we can´t discuss patients, please have a seat.”

The rest of the session, Peter is distracted, every time a door opens or he hears a patient, he looks up. The agent in Peter is awoken. The moment his therapy session is finished, and everybody is walking off to their day activity, Peter takes a quick peek into the room where the other patient was taken to. There is nobody so he moves on, not wanting to draw attention to himself. When he arrives in the large space, he asks one of the orderlies if he can read the newspaper.

“Sorry, I don´t have one, but I can get you a magazine or a cross word puzzle.”

“Puzzle please.” Peter accepts the booklet and finds a seat near a window. Twenty minutes later a staff member asks if he wants some coffee or tea. He takes a cup of coffee and continues with the puzzle.

 

* *  *

 

Two days later Peter is walking to the gym for his daily workout when he notices a man sitting by the window. The man is slumped in the chair. As far as Peter can see from the back it is the man that caused the commotion.

Peter slowly walks over and hesitates a second before turning around, is eyes widening.

“Neal?”

The man in the wheelchair makes no indication he is seeing or hearing Peter.

“Neal?”

“Sir, please step away from this patient.” An orderly moves between Peter and Neal.

“That is my CI! What happened, he was kidnapped.”

“I am sorry sir, Mister Lemarc needs his rest.”

The orderly unfastens the breaks on the wheelchair and wheels Neal away. Peter wants to follow but is held back by other orderlies that came in to check what was going on. Peter tries to see where they are taking Neal.

Mister Lemarc? who are they kidding, Neal is alive, like he always told everybody. He can´t wait to tell El. But what was wrong with Neal? His eyes were open, but completely glazed over and he was unresponsive, even when he was taken away. They must have drugged him.? That would explain why he didn´t respond.

“Mister Burke? Peter?”

Peter is pulled from his thoughts and blinks in confusion. He is sitting in a doctor´s office. How did he get here?

“Peter, are you with me again? You zoned out for a second.”

“What were we talking about?”

“You were telling me about your CI, about Neal?”

“I saw him.”

“Who did you see?” the doctor looks genuinely surprised.

“I saw Neal, he was sitting by the window in a wheelchair.”

“Peter, you do realize Neal is dead, right? So he wasn´t sitting here, you must have confused him with another patient.”

“No, I´m sure it was Neal.”

“And what did he say?” the doctor challenges him.

When Peter doesn´t answer, the doctor continues. “It´s OK Peter, you will get there, but it will take time to heal from Neal´s death. But you will. We will help you.”

Peter nods, what else is there to say or do?

“Can I please go back to my room?”

“Of course, I will see you again tomorrow. Have a good rest, it will do wonders.”

“See you tomorrow.”

An orderly accompanies Peter to his room, chatting about the latest Yankees game. Peter feels more relaxed when he arrives in his own room.

“Do you need anything?”

“No thanks, if I need anything I will asks for it.”

“OK.” The orderly leaves the room and Peter picks up the newspaper that is placed on the table. Someone must have found him one. When he feels more steady, he leaves his room in search for… for what exactly?

“Is there anything you want to do?” an orderly, his name is Reginald, asks.

“Can I do some wood working?”

“Sure, I will tell Ron you are coming over.”

Peter thinks about the events earlier today. When he looks around, everything is as it always is. Peter walks over to the workshop and checks if he can do some wood turning.

Ron studies Peter. “I will need to check your medication. But have you done it before?”

“Yeah, actually I have. I saw some Silky Oak over there. Can I try?”

“Just let me check you medication.” Ron checks it in the computer and then gives the go ahead.

Peter prepares the block of wood and then starts up the machine. He is so engulfed in the his project, that he doesn´t realize it is diner time until Ron stands in front of him.

“You have a knack for it.”

“I like working with my hands, it has a way of clearing your thoughts.”

“It does, go freshen up and I will clean up and make sure you can continue tomorrow.”

“Thanks Ron.”

The evening ritual is uneventful. Peter takes his medication and decides to go to bed and read a bit. Tomorrow is visiting day and he expects El to come see him. He is looking forward to it.

 

* *  *

 

After breakfast Peter has a short therapy session before his visitor is announced. Peter smiles when he enters the living room type setting. El is sitting in one of the comfortable love seats.

“Hi Hon.”

“Hi Hon.”

They kiss and when they come up for breath, Peter hugs her, inhaling her scent, her perfume, her shampoo. It grounds him having her in his arms.

“You look better. How do you feel?”

“OK, like you said, better. The medication works, I like the activities.”

“That is good. I brought you a care package. June and Mozzie also added stuff.”

“Mozzie? What did he get me? A cake with a vile?” Peter gives her a small smile when she looks mock offended.

“I really don´t know. You should look for yourself.”

“I will later. I want to talk to you. How are things at home?”

“Good, Satchmo misses you. I did that luncheon for June´s book club. That was fun, Mozzie also attended. All the ladies enjoyed the venue so I think more work will come from it.”

Peter and El chat until an orderly comes to ask if they want coffee and refreshments. They accept and Peter guides El to the communal space where coffee is served with cake and cookies, home made by the residents.

“I need to tell you something.” Peter starts.

“Yes, what is it?”

“I…” What is he going to tell her? That he saw Neal? She will never believe him. As much as he would like to tell her, he can´t, he…

“I think the therapy helps.”

“yes hon, I think so too.”

They chat until it is time for El to go home. They hug and kiss.

“See you again in a couple of days.”

“Love you, hon.”

“Love you more.”

 

* *  *

 

Days pass and Peter settles in the rhythm of the institution again. He doesn´t see Neal again and starts to tell himself that he imagined things.

 

* *  *

 

Siebert smiles, how much luck can he have? The agent that escaped him during the crash, checks in the clinic he works at. It must be karma.

To taunt the agent, he exposed him to Neal, his precious muze. It is going to be so much fun to mind fuck with the agent. He is looking forward to playing some more with the agent, but for now he has to check up on his precious boy. He walks to the part of the clinic where the permanent residents are staying. These are all individuals who are basically given up by the medical professionals and their families or don´t have families. They are all diagnosed as incurable or untreatable.

Patient Reuben Lemarc was admitted by himself. The other doctors were happy to let the new patient to be handled by him as their caseloads are already heavy. He reports on his patients in the weekly meeting, just like the rest of the team.

He arrives at Reuben´s room.

“Hey Reuben, how are you feeling today?”

After they checked in the clinic, something seems to have broken Neal. He is lethargic, even if he is not sedated. He has been weening Neal of all the drugs, but Neal just stares blankly in front of him. He isn´t much fun like this and he can´t just kill him off, so he has been thinking what he can do to get Neal to be more responsive. Maybe another confrontation with agent Burke, hmmm sounds like fun. Yes, now that he thinks about it, this could work.

He locks the door and walks back to Neal.

“Neal, I know you can hear me. I want to make sure you are alright. I am taking good care of you. I know agent Burke is hunting for you again, but I will keep you safe, OK? I will take care of you.”

He can see Neal is listening, even though he doesn´t respond.

“Are you ready for some therapy? We don´t want your joints to stiffen, now do we? Next weekend you are coming with me again.” He chuckles at the anticipation. The only visual response he gets is Neal´s hands that start to tremble.

 

* *  *

 

Peter is eating his breakfast and thinking about El. He wants to go home. He feels fine, the medication and therapy take care of his negative thoughts about Neal. He wouldn´t say he is fine, but he feels better than before. He isn´t looking forwards to the group therapy, although if he is being honest, it works. It is easier to talk what happened and about him feeling guilty about Neal´s death. Now that he is working with a therapist, he hasn´t seen Neal anymore, so his guilty conscious must be settling. Peter smiles, this is the first time he admits to himself that he had a problem, but is doing better. He cleans up his tray and goes out for a run before therapy.

He is running on the trail that goes across the grounds when he notices a dark SUV. A man is transferred into the car. He is moving stiff and slow but the gait looks familiar. But the man looks nothing like his CI. Peter stops and studies the scene.

It can´t be…

He needs to be sure. He then shakes his head and continues his run. It is probably a relative who comes to pick up a patient for the weekend. It isn´t Neal. It isn´t. It is just his guilty conscious that makes him see Neal everywhere.

 

* *  *

 

Siebert helps Neal into the car. He sees Peter watching them from a distance. He expects him to come closer, but he doesn´t. Eventually he continues his run. Good. That means they can continue their game.

Neal is not really aware, he weened Neal of the drugs enough to be mobile, but he is definitely not lucid. Siebert drives them to his house and guides Neal inside. Neal is his first victims he has brought into his home.

“You are such a good boy, here, let me get you more uncomfortable.”

Neal´s eyes seek him because he knows what is coming and they silently plead with him.

“Now, now Neal, you know that you stay in the box while we are here.”

The fear is now evident in his eyes.

“Oh my precious boy, you suffer so beautiful, it is such a pity that you decided not to alk to me.”

Siebert fastens the restrains until Neal´s body is twisted to its smallest form before he is lifted in the box. It is such a gratifying feeling when he sees Neal´s breathing picking up in panic. He connects Neal´s central line to an IV and closes the box.

“So, all set, precious one. See you in a bit. Oh, now, now Neal. Don´t cry. I will take good care of you, you know I always do.”

A lonely tear rolls down Neal´s cheek. Siebert drapes a dark clot over the box, isolating Neal even more.

 

* *  *

 

On Sunday morning, Siebert releases Neal from the box. Neal´s face contracts in pain when the restraints are released. As so many times before, the moment his limbs are stretched, he passes out.

Siebert disconnects the IV and slowly takes care of his boy. He carefully washes and massages all the kinks in his victim’s sore muscles. Somewhere during the treatment Neal wakes up, but just stares dully ahead. He is lifted in the SUV ad driven back to Creedmore.

When they arrive at the clinic, Siebert carefully helps Neal in a wheelchair and returns him to his room.

Once Neal is settled back in his bed, Siebert takes his lab coat and clocks in. He walks his evening rounds before grabbing a bite to eat.

“Doctor Siebert, your patient Rueben looks worse than last Friday.” A nurse remarks during their break.

“I know, he had a setback last weekend. He got a bit more lucid and isn´t resting as comfortable anymore, but we will take care of him, won´t we, Francis?”

“We will doctor, it is such a sad story the way he lost his wife.”

“Yes it is. Will you check up on him before lights out?”

“Of course doctor.”

 

* *  *

 

I know it sounds crazy Jones, but I am almost certain that it was Neal or he should have a lookalike we don´t know about.”

“And remind me, you saw Neal being unloaded from a car? How far away were you?”

“Seriously Diana? You’re doubting me?”

“Peter, you of all people should know how this works. Witnesses are not reliable.”

Peter looks a bit defeat but admits that she are right. He should focus on getting better and back home. Diana says goodbye and leaves, but the moment she gets in the car, she starts thinking.

When she arrives at the office, she explains the situation to Jones. She wants to believe her boss, but Jones is more rational. Diana gives Jones a glare, but finally admits that she would have a hard time to believe the statement if it hadn´t come from Peter, but she also admits that they can´t leave Peter in a clinic where he thinks something fishy is going on. She closes her statement by reminding Jones that their serial killer is a suspected medical professional.

“You are right. We should check it out, but we need to be careful. Let´s talk to Hughes.

 

* *  *

 

 

“Good morning,, you are orderly Delimon right?”

“Yes sir, I was asked to fill in for a nurse who had a family emergency.”

“Correct, I checked your resume and it looks very good, so I am happy to be able to welcome you to our team here in Creedmore.”

“Thank you. Just tell me what to do and I will be off.”

“Relax, grab a cup of coffee, we have a team briefing in ten minutes.”

“OK, I will grab me some coffee first then.”

 

The briefing is pretty standard as far as Jones can tell. All patients are evaluated and staff is informed about new developments, changes in treatments and medication. None of the patients trigger any alarm bells with Jones. Peter seems to be doing well, his doctor and therapists are happy with his progress.

They had informed Peter about their undercover operation, but not what the real reason was. It was a testimony to Peter´s altered mind set when he hadn´t asked more critical questions about the operation.

A couple of days in, Peter walks to therapy when he passes the solarium, he glances in, while passing it.

He stops.

No, his mind is playing tricks on him again. He should ignore it and go to his therapy. But the agent in him makes him walk back. He glimpses inside and there he is.

Neal.

He is sitting in a wheelchair and staring outside, or so it seems. A nurse is reading to him. Peter checks the hallway but nobody is paying attention to him. He opens the door to the solarium and strolls towards Neal.

“Can I listen in?”

The nurse smiles and gestures to sit down. Peter takes a seat in one of the chairs, he doesn´t want to be too obvious. While he lets the story telling wash over him, he glances over. Oh, my god, it is really Neal. He has lost weight, and there is stress evident in his features. He must somehow notice that someone is studying him and he slowly turns his head. The movement looks stiff and painful and Peter can see that it takes Neal great effort to move. On top of that, Peter can see that Neal´s eyes are unfocused and glassy. He must be drugged. It breaks Peter´s heart when he doesn´t see any kind of recognition in Neal´s eyes.

“Isabel, can you please help me?” a nurse asks, popping her head inside the solarium door.

The nurse that is reading hesitates.

“I can watch him.” Peter offers.

“I guess that is Ok, I will be right back.” The nurse quickly walks out to help her colleague.

“Neal? Neal!”

Neal just stares at Peter He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out.

“Oh Neal, we are getting you out of here, I promise.”

The nurse returns and Peter excuses himself telling her he needs to go to group therapy. He leaves the solarium and to his relief walks right into Jones.

“Jones, Neal is alive, he is sitting in the solarium right now with nurse Isabel.”

“OK Peter, let me handle this. Go to your sessions, we don’t want to attract attention to ourselves, well not at this moment.”

Jones tries to convey calmness to Peter, who is all nervous energy, probably the medication they are keeping him on.

“You are right.”

Jones can see Peter is slowly unwinding, he himself is still not a hundred percent convinced, but since Diana believes Peter, he decides to get to the bottom of it.

When he enters the solarium, there is nobody, he walks back into the hall. He checks a couple of rooms but there is nothing out of the ordinary.

Jones thinks, that maybe Peter’s mind has been playing tricks on him.

“Are you looking for something?” doctor Siebert is standing behind him.

“Yes, Isabel asked me to find her sweater.”

“I guess you have better things to do, don´t you?”

“I am sorry, just wanted to be helpful.”

Jones leaves the room and walks back to where the group therapy sessions are being held. He locates peter and signs to him. Peter excuses himself and comes out.

“Did you find him?”

“I´m sorry Peter, but there was nobody. I checked the other rooms and there was nobody.”

Peter´s face falls. “I really saw him Jones. I sat next to him.”

“I believe you Peter, I don ´t doubt you, but there was nobody. But I promise to check it out, OK?”

“I will help.”

“No Peter, let me handle this.” Jones tells Peter to return to the therapy room while he checks out the rest of the building. Peter reluctantly does what Jones tells him.

 

* *  *

 

Two days later Diana visits Peter. They don’t want to alert whoever is keeping Neal here, so they stick to their routine. El visits on Wednesday and the weekend. Diana on Friday after work. Jones hasn´t been able to find Neal nor any proof that he is at the facility.

Diana is having coffee with Peter in the garden, discussing their case.

“I am absolutely sure I saw him. I was sitting next to him, he was even looking at me. It was Neal, this wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me or the medication.”

“We haven’t found any proof and Jones has been looking. We don´t have any clue where to start digging. The team discussed our strategy and we think it is best that next time you see Neal, we lock down this place.”

“We can´t keep a full team available. But I saw Neal while he was being taken here on Friday. What if our suspect takes Neal with him in the weekends?”

Diana considers Peter´s theory.

“That could mean that he will take Neal out of here tonight, is that what you mean?”

“It is possible, isn´t?”

“Let me see if I can get a team ready. Can you inform Jones in the mean time?

“I will.”

“Be careful Peter, let Jones handle this, OK?”

“Yes, I will.”

Diana leaves and Peter goes to find Jones. Peter walks through the empty hallways, when suddenly.

“Agent Burke, looking for something?”

Peter startles, damn that medication, he hadn´t been paying attention to anyone.

“Sorry, you scared me, I didn´t expect anyone here.”

“May I ask what you were doing here?”

“I am looking for orderly Delimon.”

“I haven´t seen him, maybe he is not on duty.”

“Probably, I will ask at the admin office when he is on duty. Thank you.”

“You do that.”

Peter quickly turns around to leave, there is something about this doctor. He needs to find Jones.

“Can you page orderly Delimon for me please?”

The clerk at the admin desk nods and sends the page. Jones appears a couple of minutes later.

“I think whoever is holding Neal, will take him home during the weekend. What did you find out about doctor Siebert?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, why?”

“He gives me the creeps, it is just a feeling.”

“He has no criminal record, nor any medical complaints. He graduated top of his class. He doesn´t even have outstanding parking tickets.”

“Diana and I think that however is holding Neal, takes him home in the weekend. Can you check which patients leave the facility during the weekend?”

“Sure, I will check it out. It shouldn´t be too difficult to find.”

“Thanks Jones.”

 

* *  *

 

It isn´t hard to find out which patient checks out during the weekend. Several of them are, but there is only one patient who is escorted by a doctor.

Reuben Lemarc and what a surprise he is escorted by doctor Frank Siebert.

Jones checks out the medical file. There is no picture, the description is quite generic. Mister Lemarc seems to be in an awake coma. He sustained head injuries in a car accident that killed his wife. Doctor Siebert had obtained permission from the family to take the patient out of the facility as they all lived far away. All documents are there and look genuine. Jones decides to check it out so he walks to Reuben Lemarc´s room but finds it empty.

“Are you looking for Reuben?”

“Yes, I was told to pass a message from his family.”

“Oh, you just missed them, doctor Siebert just came by to pick him up.”

“Which way did they go?”

The nurse points towards the northern exit. Jones starts running while calling Diana. When he leaves the building, he sees the doctor lift Mister Lemarc in his car.”

“Doctor Siebert?” he calls out.

“Yes?”

“I have a message from mister Lemarc´s family.”

The doctor quickly runs around the car but before he can close the door Jones grabs his arm.

“Who do you think you are?” he shouts.

“FBI, you are under arrest.”

“What?”

“Step out of the car and lay down on the ground, arms spread out. Do it NOW.”

A couple of orderlies appear to help out Jones, courtesy of Diana.

Five minutes later, local law enforcement arrives and take doctor Siebert into custody.

Neal has been taken back inside and it is only now that Jones can check Neal out. He is shocked to see how unlike Neal he appears.

“Oh Neal, you are safe now. Peter will be here any minute now, Diana is getting him.”

Peter arrives a couple of minutes later and can´t withhold the tears that form when he touches his friend. He slowly sits down next to Neal and pulls him into his arms.

“What is wrong with him?” he asks.

A doctor that is brought in and explained that Neal is a kidnap victim.

“I will order a tox screen to see what is going on. We first need to know what he was given.”

“I never believed you were dead. You are going to be Ok. You’re safe.” Peter is murmuring to Neal.

A nurse takes several vials of blood while the doctor continues his examination.

“He is relatively fine, he seems to be having moderate atrophy of his muscles, which consist with the fact that he seems to have been restrained over longer periods of time.”

“Yeah, we expected that after the victims were examined. Neal is the first victim to survive the ordeal.”

“Let me finish my examination, we will start with some physical therapy to ease the stiffness and make mister Caffrey more comfortable while we wait for the results of the tox screen.”

“Thanks doc, I…”

“It is OK, Peter, just stay with Neal, he probably can hear you. Reassure him.”

“Yeah, I will.”

When the medical staff leaves the room, Peter sits next to the bed. He intertwines his fingers with Neal and lest his relief wash over him.

Neal doesn´t stir and eventually Peter falls asleep. He wakes when someone shakes him.

“Hon?”

Peter snaps awake.

“Oh El, we found him.”

“I know, Jones and Diana called me.”

El turns to Neal and carts her fingers through his hair. She studies his face for a moment.

“He looks in pain.”

“He probably is. El, this guy had him for weeks. He is probably drugged silly. I… “

“Breathe Peter, he is safe, you did good, let the doctors take care of him.”

“El, it was a doctor who did this to him.”

El looks in shock at Peter.

“Diana and Jones will protect you, I trust them.” She finally says.

 

* *  *

 

Neal slowly wakes. He can hear people talk but doesn´t have the strength and energy to concentrate at what they are saying and he lets himself be pulled under again.

 

The next time he reaches consciousness, he is in pain and moans, the pain is radiating through his body and he wants to move, but it only becomes worse.

There is a warmth spreading from his arm and he slowly feels like he floating and then there is nothing.

 

He realizes he can understand the voices he is been listening to. It is Peter and Mozzie, arguing over some conspiracy theory. It makes Neal smile until he wants to open his eyes and realizes he can´t. he can´t move. What happened? Was he paralyzed? What did Meester do?

He can feel someone rubbing his arm and his hair and he does his best to get his panic under control. He knows it will only be worse when he tries to get away from Meester. He tries to have happy thoughts and eventually drifts asleep again.

This goes on for some time until he realizes he is staring at a ceiling. He doesn´t do anything, he just stares. Someone must have noticed because his name is exclaimed and he startles.

“Neal?”

He wants to answer, but his dry throat doesn´t produce any sound.

“Take it easy, Neal. I called the nurse.”

Neal stares at Peter. He is here, but wasn´t Peter here before? Yes, he was, but only in his imagination. Maybe he is hallucination again.

“Peter?”

“Yes Neal?”

“Are you here?”

“What do you mean? Of course I am here.”

“You are really here?”

“Yes, I am here. You are safe.” Peter gives a sad smile.

A nurse enters and beams when she sees Neal awake. “Mister Caffrey, so good to see you awake.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, you are rescued. You are safe.”

“Why am I not in a hospital?”

“Agent Burke thought it would be better if you were taken care of in your own home.”

Neal checks out the limited line of vision he has, and now recognizes his own loft. However, he is lying in a hospital bed.

“Why am I not in my own bed?” he whispers.

“This bed is ergonomically better for us to work with you as it can be adjusted in height and easier for you. You are still very weak, but we want you to sit up, so this way the bed will help you.”

Neal nods. She is right about the weakness. He has just woken and he is already tired. The nurse must have noticed.

“Rest, I called the doctor and he will come over and then we will see how you feel. I would like to try some breakfast, nothing too heavy, we will see. Rest.”

Neal nods closing his eyes. He doesn´t feel Peter sitting down next to him and talking to him, he lets Peter´s voice wash over him while he dozes off.

 

* *  *

 

“So, when are you going to tell me about the case?” Neal asks challenging when he is done with his physical therapy. His voice still sounds off, but the doctors assured him that his vocal cords would heal.

Peter studies Neal before answering.

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything of course.”

“I don´t know if it would be opportune to…”

“Why? I am not an invalid. I can handle it.”

“I know you are not an invalid Neal. But you don´t need the added stress of a case you were involved in.” Peter deliberately didn’t use the term victim. “I don´t need to tell you what you look like Neal, and you only had one hour of physical therapy. Please, allow yourself time to recover from this. The case is still a long way from going to trail.”

Neal looks Peter in the eye and then grabs the smoothie that Peter got him after his physical therapy. Neal has trouble eating, but he likes the rich sweet smoothies of milkshakes El makes or buys him. Peter is only cleared for desk duty and whenever he can, he escorts Neal to appointments. Neal is still not fully mobile, even though he works very hard with the therapists. The doctors explained that it would take a while before he would regain full function of his limbs. It frustrates Neal.

His drawing suffers under his stiff finger joints and his gait looks strange. He is witness to it every time he needs to do his exercises in front of a wall sized mirror or if he tries to draw.

“Look Neal, Siebert Meester is going to get his punishment, he faces seven accounts of first degree murder, aggravated assault against you and aggravated assault with a motor vehicle against two federal employees. He is never getting out of jail. Let the DA handle this.”

Neal stares at the people walking past them, going about their daily lives.

“You are right.” Neal finishes his drink and picks up his cane. “Let´s go, I have an appointment with a lovely lady this afternoon.” He grins.

“You do?”

Neal looks meaningful at Peter and then he remembers, Neal has a massage appointment to help with the stiffness.

“Yeah, she is probably looking forward to wearing you out.” Peter smiles back.


End file.
